Sunday, March 9, 2008

Green Machine

I know I said that my social skills would see the light of day now that the show is over but, as you may (hopefully!) have noticed, I spoke too soon. It's been stressful. I was exhausted but there was much to do and some big decisions looming.

Friday, in particular, was a peaks and valleys kind of TGIF. It led SEAMLESSLY into 3 margaritas at Uncle Julio's, 2 Unibroue Ephemeres at The Map Room and 1.25 Jameson & Gingers at Club Lucky with Colleague and eventually her husband. It'd been awhile since we'd had that kind of fun and even though it's not the night I'd planned, it was without a doubt the night I needed. Particularly since it landed me in bed by 11:15pm.

"Whoa Whoa. What? Why would you need to be in bed so early on a Friday??" You heard right. And with excellent, once a year reason. Today was Green Beer Day.

Green Beer Day is a holiday founded at my alma mater a good half century ago that basically provided a way for students to celebrate St. Pat's despite consistently being on Spring Break for it. The bars close at 2 then open again at 4:30 am to serve green eggs and ham, green bagels and, of course, green beer. Professors check tongues as students enter class. The streets of our little pocket of cornfield looks a little like kelly green Mardi Gras. It's a debacle. It's really really fun.

Now I'm fairly adjusted to adult life. I don't sit around pining away for glory days etc because I tend to think my glory days are tomorrow rather than yesterday. GBD is the one day a year where I encourage my own regression. And that of everyone else, for that matter. So I woke up at 7:15 am and got my green-ensemble over to Joner's green brunch with a bottle of champagne in my purse. I was giddy, as well.

Six or so sorority sisters were already over, we had green waffles, mimosas and were first in line at the Cubby Bear set to open at 10 am. 364 days a year, my being in Wrigleyville first thing on a Saturday morning after a big night out sounds absurd. What a glorious exception.

We enjoyed the open bar. I ran into my old roommates, Em's other half, more sorority sisters younger and older and a crazy assortment of other acquaintances from our days in idyllic Georgian brick courtyards. I'll spare you the details. And spare myself the headache of trying to recall them. Around 1:30pm I was spent. I dragged Joner with me to McDonald's and while the cheeseburger and DC were immensely helpful, the conversation was still pretty colorful. I offer the following exchange as an example:

Jenny: (Redacted Professor's Name)'s pants were soo tight. It's cause he loved the boys.
Me: No, I don't think so. The gays normally know what works on them. (Redacted) was in waist-to-hip ratio denial.
Random Guy at Table Next To Us: (Pitiful attempt to control combustive laughter)
Me (to Joner & Jenny): He thinks I'm a homophobe cause I call them "the gays." (To guy, I'm also now laughing) I loooove the gays.
Guy: (More laughing)
Joner to Guy: I am so glad we could amuuuse you. (Does a little curtsy on our way out)

I got in a cab and took my green tongue home directly following this exchange and have not left my house since. I have managed to: Make pasta, cry over TiVoed Oprah (a different post), watch Amy Adams & Vampire Weekend on SNL (Thanks Jonk!) and fold some laundry.

Now I get to go back to bed in the hopes that my body will accept my apologies and let me take it to Bikram in the morning to make up for 2 cheeseburgers, fries and a lot of food coloring. Namaste`bitches.


Cheryl said...

Hilarious conversation! It's green beer day again--aka South Side Irish Parade...should be interesting.

Nilsa S. said...

What a great fun tradition! Hope yoga was refreshing this morning. And you probably would make your yoga instructor keel over if he/she heard you say "namste bitches" ... that line had me cracking up.

Jenn said...

Green bagels?! I want green bagels!

Christy Lou Who said...

I'll see your Oprah crying and raise you a Who Wants to be a Millionaire crying. Seriously.
1. Why was I watching WWTBAM?
2. Why was I so moved?
At least crying about Oprah semi makes sense, at least in my mind.

Joy @ Big Time Fancy said...

I don't think I knew you went to MUOhio. I nearly went myself but they didn't offer me QUITE enough money.

When did you graduate?

And I maintain that GBD cannot compare to U of I's Unofficial.

Joner said...

I have decided that gbd2008 was my retirement party from GBD ... forever. OKay that's a blatant lie. I wish I had brought my breathalizer and tested everyone BAC's circa 1:15pm... rut roh.

L Sass said...

Green Beer Day sounds amazing... but this is why I need to up my alcohol tolerance before moving out to your neck of the woods. Chicagoans are crazy!

Anonymous said...

Namaste bitches. HA!

I have my own college/green beer drinking scheduled for this coming Saturday. Need to prepare. However, I can only hope I last a bit longer than 1:30pm (ahem).

And yes, we need to hang out soon! You know where I am...

Susie said...

Haha! I've never had green beer...horrible, right?

Boston? Thursday? So so sooo excited!!

Anonymous said...

Oh I thoroughly enjoyed this post! The convo between you, Joner and the Guy were just hilarious. Sounds like something I would do. As for the green beer, hmmm, did they have special green margaritas (not lime-yuck) because I'm not a beer girl. I know, I'm expensive. I wish I could get up the motivation to cook like you do as I also live alone. Ugh, but I don't. How on earth do you do it?!

ToKissTheCook said...

Cheryl: I'm still creeped out by your "commute."

Nilsa: Yes. Yes he would keel over the patchouli patch on that one.

Jenn: Trust me, they will be around for the coming week.

ChristyLou: I do that too. I am a happy crier. Someone's life just changed in some fabulous way? Tears rolling down my face. Move that bus.

Joy: It is expensive coming from out of state. Me and the Daughters of the American Revolution did our best but it was still pricey. So I worked in a wine shop which obviously had other benefits:)

Joner: Breathalyzer is on next year's checklist. We should do benchmarking throughout the day. I took a nap after all that McLovin.

Sass: Welcome back to the Midwest,dear. It's a rough evening. That's why I only do it once a year.

PBR: Oh start semi-sober at 7am and go till 1:30 and then you can gloat. Although I know your company. You've got some practice:)

Susie: TWO DAYS!!! YEAH!

CurlySue: I feel you on the solo cooking. I'm actually working on a post about that. I found a cookbook all about cooking for yourself. I genuinely think it's my need for creature comforts that makes me do it. I always want something special to look forward to!