Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Turn Around Bright Eyes (Drag Queen Karaoke in P-town)

We'd had a great dinner at Devon's, a restaurant the size of a pocket serving local striped bass and scallops. We'd strolled around Provincetown taking in the many variations of friends and families all enjoying their ice cream cones. My ice cream was Chocolate Mint Oreo and how that has not managed to become a modern standard baffles me. It's really really good.

We'd started thinking about going home but needed a bathroom break (home is about 25 miles down the road). A quick slip into the Governor Bradford which turns out to be a karaoke bar run by a quick and sweet-natured drag queen in a demure sequin tank and python pleather leggings. And motorcycle boots. Our intention was to split a drink but as I had retired the car keys to Jason, I got to have my own. And it was fun so that lead to two of my own.

Which led me to an epiphany.

I will never see anyone in this bar again. The exception being Jason and it is increasingly difficult to be embarrassed around him. He's a musician, he's WELL AWARE that I am not. I am surrounded by friendly, hammered boys and girls whose performances might even make mine look palatable because I could just swing my hair around if I muss the words.

I first try to talk Jason into a rendition of Islands in the Stream. No go. He does not karaoke and he is sober anyhow. But I'm adamant now that this is my last best opportunity to do this for the first time. It's between Bonnie Tyler and Juice Newton. Bonnie won and I felt a twinge of sick when I dropped my slip with my name and song code into the fish bowl.

It's a slow night. Very suddenly I'm up next. Medicinal shot of Jameson. Not sure if that helped but at least it coated my vocal chords. Made my way to the stage and whispered my first-timer status to Dana Danzel who I've come to know as the hostess.

There's a group of 5-6 middle-aged women directly to the right of the stage. They are complimentary and encouraging. I'm well aware that I'm shouting. It is a yelling, Shatneresque rendition of "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Jason is filming and I remember to look at him from time to time...more so later in the song when I've decided to "own it."

Dana jumped in to help me out on the chorus and with the "Turn around bright eyes..." and before I knew it I was belting it out. Monotonically but BELTING nonetheless. People danced. It was really fun. Intensely awful but still fun.

I walked off stage to a wildly amused boyfriend and some time later did convince him to be Kenny Rogers to my Dolly Parton. It was even worse but we did it and and then we did it again on the ride home when we found the song on one of my parents mix CD's, sandwiched between "Colors of the Wind" and "Roseanna."

Maybe next time I have a houseful of awesome, I'll be brave enough to try it again, bring the whole crew. Unlikely but I enjoy the thought.

And because I would never have done it with you IN the bar, I give you the footage. Because I'm moving a little slowly this morning and it will have seemed like a good idea at the time. Don't say I never gave you anything.

Total Eclipse of the Heart (TKTC 1st Karaoke) from ToKissTheCook on Vimeo.

15 comments:

Molly McGuffin said...

you cannot even fathom how BUMMED i am that my work computer won't let me access vimeo to see this awesomeness. i'm seriously thinking of going home sick for the afternoon just so i can get immediate access!! ay yi yi, we leave you for one day and this is what you get into ... drag queens and karaoke ... amazing hahahah

Lori aka A Cowboy's Wife said...

Wow!! Now THAT was rememberable FO SHO!! I never knew you had such a unique voice;)

Maris said...

LOVES it.Now I want to sing karaoke, and if I do, I'm placing the blame 100% on you for any subsequent humiliation.

Wit said...

Loved the performance, you are adorable!

elle michelle said...

Bravo!

I love J's giggles too, by the way.

kat said...

This was spectacular. I am deeply sorry to have missed it.

Marguerite said...

This is BY FAR the best thing ive seen all day... LOVE you!

RebeccaC said...

I love this! And I love that you're wearing the dress from my wedding (I've named it as such).

My karaoke song is Sweet Child of Mine.

the littlest reason said...

This just made my day on a level you can't possibly even begin to fathom.

Rachel said...

Dood.. I love you ;-)

AWESOME! and, I love love love your dress! You're such a rockstar girlie ;-)

Linda - one scoop at a time said...

Awesomeness. Who has that haunting, deep singing voice, Jason or Dana, that we hear singing "Turn Around" near the beginning?

Linda - one scoop at a time said...

PS - your dress rocked!

Larissa said...

I LOVE you. Every time I go karaoke-ing (is that a word?), I sing Total Eclipse of the Heart! If they don't have that song, Madonna's Like a Prayer is my next choice :)

damon said...

sooo... i just now watched this for the first time... and i'm pretty sure this was the funniest thing i have EVER seen. EVER.

you rule.

stacy di said...

hilarious. Great story. Great vid.