Monday, October 26, 2009

Butter Me Up, Change My Mind

Raspberry Heart Scones
Originally uploaded by peabirdwoman
Who among you can turn down any combination of butter and flour? (all flour included for the brother's and sisters among us begotten by gluten). Danish? Challah? Chubby dumplings stuffed with fruits or spiced meat?

Can you look a muffin up and down, break down it the middle and watch steam rise from that great valley without pulling a morsel for your mouth?

If the answer for any of you is yes, I behoove you to share your wisdom with the community a la TKTC. Because 99 times out of 100? Don't look at me. If someone made it by hand within 20 miles and a day of when I'm provoked, there is no shame. Only crumbs and a sticky spot on the counter where I set my coffee or tea spoon.

You're not surprised, please don't feel as though you need to humor me with your kind defenses of my self-control. I appreciate the offer but we're all friends here. What's that? You weren't going to argue?

Why, yes. I did say 99 times out of 100. I counted croissants and pain au chocolat as two separate entities if you're wondering how I arrived at that number.

Oh. The 100th time. Caught that did you? Yes. There is an exception.

I'm not actually inclined to tell you what it is.



I don't like scones and I'm not proud of it.

To put this into perspective, I think I was more worried admitting to Jaimeson that I don't opt in for this UK specialty than I was telling him that there was a period in college that I fancied myself Dagney Taggart. He is almost a communist but in many instances I felt that the clotted cream and crumbs were closer to his heart.

I am a Europhile who has never met a charming scone. Is that so wrong?

Don't answer that. The few scones I've had were dry and bland and I do not understand the appeal. I expect at least a small amount of wit, grit and joie de vivre in everything that kisses this cook and that most certainly includes baked goods.

That said, I am frankly so ashamed of this gaping hole in my personal pastry experience and it's something I'd like to improve on with your patient assistance.

Bring me your best. Seduce me with your steaming sweet or savory scones. I will make the best offering with my own two hands at my kitchen table and we'll see. I'm in the mood to be romanced by something with a bit of a brogue.


Wit said...

First and foremost today was a terrible day, the kind that make you want to stay in bed and eat whole pies and your blog brought a smile to my face! Thanks! As for the scones I too used to hate them until I found this sweet little tea house in NYC. Next time you are visiting the city seek out Podunk on 5th between 2nd and 3rd. I am sure she can cure you of your distaste. Personally I love her scones, not so much because I love the scone but because I love the clotted cream and fresh preserves she makes in house. Plus the place is just toO sweet, filled with tea pots and children's books.

Laurel said...

Normally, I agree with you. Scones are too dry and bland. However, these are the exception. Give 'em a whirl and let me know what you think! Warning: they don't really come out in that perfect triangle.

2 cups flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 T. baking powder
1/2 t. salt
6 T. butter
1 cup heavy cream
2/3 cup dried cherries

Mix dry ingredients together. Cut in butter. Add cream and mix.
Do not over mix. Add dried fruit. Drop by Tablespoons full onto an
ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 15 min.

We Are Not Martha said...

We're on some kind of weird wavelength this week!! Shelley just informed me you made Closet Cook's Butternut Squash (with gorg, carm. onions, and sage), which I also just made. AND I made scones last night!! Granted they tasted like biscuits to me... They were Smitten's jalapeno-cheddar scones and SO good!! I'll probably post my recipe tomorrow, but hers is here:


TKTC said...

Wit: You know what I like about this comment? It requires a trip to New York. Yes, I like that very very much.

Laurel: You just put the full recipe in. God Bless you.

Sues:You know I will eat anything that comes from Deb, she's yet to lead me astray and there's nothing wrong with a cheesy biscuit. That said, difference b/t scones and biscuits for me traditionally has been the moist insides of biscuits. Something I have found lacking in scones. Hopefully to be rectified by Laurel's recipe or my neighbor Betty's!