Thursday, December 6, 2007

Adventures in Contemporary Education Part 1

My policy is not to post from the office for several reasons but right around lunch this week when my only duty is to post someone else's material- THAT I can handle without getting too far off my checklist. It will also allow me to finish what has unofficially become Guest Editor week, which I have loved and hope to continue getting submissions for. TKTC offers free name/location altering services and a semi-fake bio should you choose anonymity.

That in mind, I was having a short-lived pity party that I'd not saved a little Bridezilla to help us through the end of the week when my friend shot an email over at end of day. The email included three installments from his friend Jennifer Gromit's email updates on her life as a science teacher in what could be called an "animated" high school. By the end of the email I was laughing so loudly that my boss popped out of her office and into mine to see what the ruckus was. After reading a piece aloud, it was determined to indeed be funny. Got JGromit's permission and away we go- a friend of friend Guest Editor. Welcome to the fray...

Halloween Edition: Well, it certainly was a full moon last week. On Monday, during my last period class, I had to hold back girls from fighting...over a colored pencil. I had one girl while the teacher next door was holding back the other girl. A book was thrown and it hit the other teacher in the head. Did I mention that one of the girls is five months pregnant?Wednesday was Halloween, and we had a Halloween dance after lunch. First of all, the dancing was so X-rated. Visualize vertical sex and dry humping. The kids kept asking me when I was going to dance. My response was "when they play my song." Well, Soulja Boy comes on towards the end of the dance, and I decide to take my fifteen seconds of fame. I find some of my students and bust out the Soulja Boy. The kids started laughing and before I knew it, it had twenty kids around me in a circle saying "Ms. Gromit! Ms. Gromit! Ms. Gromit!" I quickly exited the scene, but I think that I earned a little bit of cred. Later during the dance, there was a violent confrontation between me and a student. I wouldn't let him make out with his girlfriend. He decided to push me and threaten my life. Its a long story...but two security guards had to hold him back, the police were called, and he's going to be expelled. Ahh, Ekuawlim Public Schools.
TKTC: Abby, I am happy to report that your students are not only ones apparently enjoying their teacher's "Soulja Boy" talent Friday, we were working with microscopes. We were looking at cheek cells. One of my boys asked me what kind of cheeks...face or butt. I looked at him and said "Do you think I want your stinky ass all over my slides?" Everyone laughed and he said, "Man, Ms. Gromit, I can always count on you to keep me straight. You my n%**#. You'll always be my n%**#."

And finally, my students were working in groups and the discussion turned to talking about gay people. I was ready to shut it down, but it wasn't being disrespectful and they were having a good talk. Out of nowhere, one of my female students admits to the class that she likes girls. She just came the middle of biology class.

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