Monday, December 3, 2007

Bridezilla: Parts 4-6

Your Monday post courtesy of TKTC Guest Editor Elle Turin. I could get used to this:)

Part 4: The Kiss-Ass Bridesmaid (No, not me. Big surprise.)

One of Bridezilla’s bridesmaids is petite. The bridesmaids dress comes in petite. Kiss-Ass-Bridesmaid is ecstatic over this.

She gushes, “I love that the dress comes in petite! YOU ARE THE BEST BRIDE EVER!!”

We get it, you’re proud to be tiny. Now shut up.

I also highly disapprove of bestowing praise where it is undue, so I automatically throw up in my mouth a bit when I hear this comment. How did I even hear this, you ask?

Bridezilla posted that comment on Facebook as one of her favorite quotes of all time.

We get it, you think you’re a good bride. Now shut up.

Apparently, Kiss-Ass-Bridesmaid was doing additional ass-kissing things, because the next comment I saw on Bridezilla’s Facebook a few weeks later was, “Kiss-Ass-Bridesmaid has three gold stars on her bridesmaids chart!!!”

I think it’s safe to assume that I have zero.

Part 5: The Facebooking Continues. So Does My Anger.

In case the entire Facebook community isn’t aware that Bridezilla is getting married, she decides to post potential Save the Dates and ask everyone’s opinion on them.

I refuse to participate in this whole Look-At-Me-I’m-Engaged charade.

I am called out.

“Go vote on my Save the Dates!” Bridezilla writes on my wall.


Part 6: Wedding, Wedding, Wedding, Wedding

I am also engaged. For some reason, Bridezilla thinks that this means I no longer have anything to talk about besides weddings.

In the course of two weeks, I had a ton of things happen in my life. I quit a terrible job, drastically changed my hair for the first time ever and scored an awesome new job before my two weeks’ were up at the old hellhole. I consider these to be big changes.

All of these things were referenced on Facebook. (Where else?) Several friends commented publicly and privately to me on one or all of these items.

What does Bridezilla do?

She sees all of these new developments and sends this:

“What style wedding gown are you thinking of?”

“Oh, you know, something that will match my new hair and really reflect the fact that I’m completely satisfied in my new job that I got a week ago. Something like that, I think.”

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