Saturday, December 22, 2007

The Plot is Boiling Over

Have you ever tried to look at your life from an outsider's perspective and wondered if you weren't secretly out to get yourself?

That's kind of how I'm feeling lately. Like I keep making these choices that aren't in my best interest. Now I'm as hedonistic as the next person, but the short term puffs of fun don't always or even usually lead to long time glory and I'm feeling that now more than ever. More recently? I hate going to the dentist. Seriously. I know for a fact that I have my Dad's teeth so no matter how great a job the orthodontist did, how many times a day I brush or how diligently I floss (Ok, that one not so much), I WILL have cavities. I will ALWAYS have cavities. So what do I do as soon as I am off on my own? Avoid going at all costs. Do I really have cavities if no one is telling me I do?

Bad move. Piss poor move. Guess who's getting a root canal two days into 2008? You got it. My dentist said it is sheer dumb luck that it has not effected me thus far but that it needs to get done soon. Given that the sarcastic sort I hang with like the cliche "about as much fun as a root canal" I'm gonna guess I am just in for a treat.

So after that and some other fun news this week, what do I decide I need before going to the beach? Wax. I'm gonna leave it there.

Holy f*ck. Please excuse my language, I know it's not exactly Noel appropriate. But surely it is "test a woman's pain threshold" appropriate. I kicked the esthetician.

I didn't mean to but it just happened spastically. The hilarious part is that she didn't even flinch. "Happens all the time. That wasn't even all that hard." I don't think I've physically kicked anyone since the days of family hotel room sharing and even then I was asleep or pretending to be.

Deep breaths only get you so far and while this was not my first time under the warm, purple goo, it was my first time in awhile. Oooohhhh, NOW I remember why.

I'm no baby, but I will admit to laughing it off with a little mascara run off. Thank God for Mexico and quick healing skin cells.

1 comment:

freeandflawed said...

I got a wax for the first time this past summer. Holy sweet mother of jeebus. I thought getting tattoos were bad. I can do tattoos! I haven't gone back since - though I really did love the convenience of not shaving for like...5 weeks.